I found myself one time in the midst of older women, a mix of women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s talking. They were trying to help one of the women solve some of her issues, soon the topic of discussion tilted to another woman who was being battered by her husband. I was in a mix of anger and sadness I hated to hear of women being battered and I could not help. My worries didn’t stop at that, I was worried because of the conclusions made about how she could have avoided being battered. they were not sure why she got physically violated, as this woman was said to be a calm gentle person, so why was she getting beaten? Which is why I decided to talk about this, there are a lot of myths associated with battering and this only helps to fuel the issue of intimate partner violence (Domestic Violence) and we need to unlearn these myths and renew our minds so we can help women in situations of Intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence does not occur only in marriages, it occurs in relationships even among teenagers
Violence on women is done to establish power and domination and to put women in “their” place if you see the face of a man who has recently battered his wife it’s the face of a man in power and power drunk.
Myths Of Intimate Partner Violence
- Women who are abused provoke men to beat them.
- women push men beyond the breaking point and incite physical violence: this is not true, we get provoked in our daily lives and do not resort to violence so why is it only when women provoke men that they get beaten?
- Alcohol and drug abuse cause battering.
- Battered women can easily leave the situation: one of the hardest things for battered women is leaving the relationship. They have a lot of uncertainties, they usually feel alone and helpless, and their partners usually make them economically dependent so they find themselves stuck.
- Domestic violence is a low income or minority issue: any woman of any race, color, ethnic group or socioeconomic class can be a victim of intimate partner violence.
- Battered women will be safer when they are pregnant: this is also not true, pregnant women get battered and the abdomen is usually the point of target when they get beaten.
- When the man starts getting angry you keep quiet to avoid provoking him further: I would like us to know that not all women are even bold enough to talk but they still get battered which cancels out this myth.
- You know a man that can be violent towards a woman when you see him: you can never really tell who is a potential batterer.
- The woman is rude and has a sharp mouth: really? Men are equally rude, humans are rude but they don’t get battered
- Violence occurs in a small percentage of the population: women around you might not be getting battered does not mean it’s not happening, intimate partner violence is under-reported especially in Nigeria data is a big issue as it is believed to be a family issue and should not be spoken about.
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